Here in my cage

My heart is yours and now its breaking I feel betrayed but it was of my own making, the anger and hate boils below the surface I have seen this line before and crossed it. The destruction in the wake of the path that was taken was a toll to high for many to pay I paid it then and I‘ll pay it again to have you back with me once again. I want to sent right that which was wrong my heart hurts so bad because now you are gone. My wrath know no limits from those that would hurt you; The animal inside screams in its cage furiously clawing with murderous rage, he is dark with fire for eyes most people don’t know that he’s even alive. I keep him contained in the cage inside and the day that you see him in my eyes is the day I fear for he’s taken over. Your love is the cage that quiets the beast and without you I don’t see how he will stay in he wants to come out, playing again destroying everything in sight, I don’t know why but tonight he feels so alive and close to the surface . There is nothing that I would not do the world doesn’t know the destruction I would reign on it to protect you, to keep you safe away from harm.
The road has been traveled one time before it was your heart that I broke now its mine that is torn, I can’t help what I feel and unconditional love is something I long for and hope once again to feel. Eyes wide open now you must see. Love is not just a good feel when the times are swell, but it is undeserved even when you are hurt and all fail, if love is only love with all your heart when times were good it wasn’t love that was felt. If there wasn’t love then I can sleep and tame the beast. For yet a little longer and then I must go I need the chance to love and I hope I will know, once again someday the feel of you warm embrace and the words “I love you” as my heart starts to race.
My heart is in your hand and you have the key keep this animal in the cage or set him free. You know who you are and I’m calling to you this is my last cry before I drown. I’m going under there is no way out.

Immortal View of Time

Immortal I stand at the dawn of time watching as history unfolds what will become of mankind. War and evil is said to be man made, but it was created by the Ancient of Days; long before the snake will entice the mortals to slay.

The land is green with promise of that which is unseen, seize the day while it is young is the battle cry of the old, carpe diem is dead and cold. Potential is something that is most not fully realized, and never surpassed. History is the story of man never learning from the mistakes they have made before; there is no new problem under the sun.

Little spiders in my brain running at the speed of light, each carries a little thought some of: joy, hope, fear, and delight. Another fly dies food for thought is consumed fueling my mind through out the night.

The war within is the one not without belief, that these ants, spiders, and flies live and die for something larger than what they are in this life. “Veni Vedi Veci” Caesar cried but what was it for that this ant died? Shakespeare wrote, he spun and weaved but with his web of beautiful words is he really anything more than a spider to me?

The Brink of the dawn until this point in time: you’re born, you live and die. Is there a point to try? The pages of history are all the same, but do your best to live it different in each day. We will put it on your grave that you dared to live for the new day, which never came for you anyways.

Immortal I stand at the setting of the sun it seems like yesterday time has just begun; but now it’s done and these mortals had a good run. They have managed to find grace in the eyes of the Ancient of Days.

Fallen Angels

I come from heaven not from hell,
Hell is the place on earth in which I dwell.
Immortal I stand against you fragil man, I can not die
You will never survive, I am unseen before the moment you fall.
I am a ghost in the night, and a shadow in a dark room.
I will reign terror on those who stand to oppose.
I am the face in your dreams that robs you of your sleep.
You pace and sweat, i am the fear who eats you alive.
I come from heaven not from hell I am the one called Fallen Angel.

When Angels Cry

The rain pours down wrecking the day you had planned, soaking through your firewood. Time and energy spent and wasted with this fall of water from the skies, looking up and imagine the angels cry. The rain washes and cleans away the filth and grim, but in the moment it seems to be only lost time; the hurt and pain that comes out with the rain, it goes on for days and seems it will never go away. You ever try to light a camp fire with wet wood? You keep trying for awhile hoping to have the wood catch and reward you with a warm fire, but after awhile you stop trying because you realize that not matter what you try its just not going to light. At the crossroads the Devil stands with a can of gasoline, waiting to make a deal. For a small price you can have the burst of flame you so desperately crave, in that moment you feel whole and complete with the warm arms of the fire reaching out to hold you tight. In time no matter how much gas you buy, the rain from heaven when angels cry will drown the flame; leaving you with nothing but shame that you sold out for a temporary flame. What is that price that is to be paid, so you can feel the warmth, but the gas quickly burns away leaving you standing in the crossroads with a price to pay. In my life I have learned it’s not the price you want to pay for the short lived flame, just hold on and in the new day the rain will go away.

Frog Pond Show

Dancing lilies gracefully above the surface of the turbulent waters
a flourish of colors around her the rumbles of thunder in the sky
the rain drums on the frog pads as the wind sings and the clouds roll by
the lightning flashes like a strobe while the thunder keeps the beat
the lilies and the pads together move slow they may not be loud and flashy
they are beautiful and the center of this frog pond dance show

What is really worth fighting for?

I have read that peace is not something that you can guard and protect, but rather war is an animal that you keep in a cage until the time comes to unleash it. I firmly believe that there some problems in the world that call for in short....war but the reasons right now that we claim we are fighting for are bloated and very general. We are told that we are fighting terrorism, the problem is what is terrorism? its an idea and ideas cannot be killed, and we as the most powerful country in the world need to come to grips with the fact that not everyone in the world is going to like us, but honestly who really cares if they do? Does some iraqi's hate for how much better off you have life really concern you? For that matter if you care so much why not move there and help them out. I have been to Iraq a couple times and for as much as they hate us they try so hard to live up to the standard that we do.
Wiping out terrorism is one big circle and if wiping it out is the goal, we might as well just kill the whole middle east because we are creating more terrorist every single day. Am i anti-war? Yes i am at this point, i think the war has gone on for too long and i have heard very high ranking officers say that this is a war that we CAN NOT WIN an if you can't win it then why are my brothers out there in that wasteland dying? This blood is being spilt for some politican's pride because enough is never enough. Most of those out there fighting and dying contrary to what you are told do not believe in or support this war, then why did i do it? why do they do it? because we have to, there is no choice about going into that situation.
I love and support our military and thats they way we all should be. You don't have to like the war or even support it but, love and support the men and women that are out there, what they are doing is a job...one that they have now choice about where they go or what they do, but keep in mind they are people like you and me. It never got me upset when people protested the war, it did get me mad when they would rally and a serviceman's funeral.
The last and final point of this blog is what is a terrorist? no one thinks that they are a terrorist but i know good and well that i have been thought of as one, kicking someone's door down and dragging people out in the middle of the night. Then again are you being a terrorist trying to stop people from killing you? or how about fighting to get an unwanted military out of your city? Either party believes they are right and sees the other as the terrorist. would you defend you country? would you fight know the other people have a stronger fighting force than you? I would and i hope the rest of you would too, because everything thing worth having is worth fighting for and you're not really living untill you have something worth dying for.

Flowers and Knives

They are like flowers pretty and nice, but they can be painfull and sharp like a knife either way they can be good or bad. Flowers are pretty and nice, but they can be deadly and used with spite. Knives are cold painfull and sharp, they can stab and kill or cut and heal. flowers and knives the lession is learned that all that matters is how you use your words. They can be pretty and nice like a flower but posion the heart kill and devour; or they can seem cold and sharp like a knife but give you some wise helpful advice. Beware of the man that only sells flowers for he will use you in that critical hour.

The Honey, Bees, The British and their tea

Sitting here drinking my wonderful tea is what i am doing if British i be, the bees fly around from flower to flower collecting more pollen for honey by the hour, our drink of choice is the tea that we drink the honey we add sweetens and pleases, so we're all connected the british and tea, the bees and flowers to honey you see. Honey is what we want when we come home from a bad day in cleveland, london, or rome. Honey says i'm glad that you're home and with a quick kiss the bad day is all gone. So thanks to the british that drink their tea because they give the bees reason to be and from that reason come the fruit of the flower, honey that sweetens the tea that we drink. The tea is your life, the bees are your job and the flower is the purpose for which we breathe, but the honey is the sweet that makes it all worth it for if a bee would not be then what would be then reason to drink this nasty tea.

The Bable we have built

Glasswalls are the tools that we have used to raise ourselves up and place ourselves on the very throne of God, what we live and what we do is seen so clear these glasswalls that we live behind give us the illusion that we are all connected but in truth we are not, i have heard ppl say that the internet has connected the whole world, but i believe that it has done just the opposite, we are disconnected....unplugged if you will, you now work jobs that you don't really like and if you don't the odds are you will and then we go home to something like myspace or other places and talk to people that we never have and probably never will meet. why? well i'm glad you asked we do this so that we can feel loved but the problem is that we can never really get close or be loved by the person on the other side of that glass wall bc we live a semi- if not completely fabricated life with them for fear that they are someone that could stalk us down or hurt us. These glasswalls allow us to be be perfect and in a fashion obtain that god-like status that mankind so despretly seeks. This self deification is unheathy because we seek to take the place of God instead of trying to be more like him. These walls have allowed us to view the world in a mode as close as we can to becoming God. What would happened if everyone unplugged and just worried about fixing the little section of the world we live instead of trying to butt in on the whole world?

Candyland

We play in a candy land where the gifts are not free, but they can be had at a price. The sweeter the candy the more it cost. The candy maker works hard in his shop to keep the candy sweet, but he doesn’t sell that which he keeps in fact he is denied the candies that he has promised to make.

We are greedy little children and we want the sweetness of the candy without the candy maker working, and when he does work we tell him not to wear gloves even though the oven is hot, why should we care its not burning our hands.

We eat our candy canes as we stone the candy maker, the candy maker doesn’t want to make the candy he has promised us that he would.

We play in a candy land where the gifts are not free, but the candy maker burns his hands so that we can eat sweets.

The problem with sweets is they rot your teeth unless you brush after eating these sweets.

The Water, The Ocean, and The World

I have a fascination with water, i love to swim, scuba dive, in general i just love the water. Water to me is complex it's: peaceful, calm, powerful, angry, and unforgiving. The water gives the world life and is the biggest natural force to take it also. The peace and calm we get by laying at the beach, and in turn sheer terror it brings when unleashed.

These are some of the human like qualities that made me want to look more into water and find out what is it? I went to the docks and looked at the water but could not see into it because of the choppiness and the waves created by the boats, so i dove into the water and i saw a beautiful world that i am not a part of. So i went places that had been damaged by the water, but all i saw was my world torn apart by a destructive force. I realized that i was trying to understand a forest by studying different parts of its various trees, and what i needed to do was take and step back and look and the big picture. So i took a stroll out into space and i saw the oceans for what they were and powerful almost living force that shaped the world it was a part of, but the i noticed that this powerful force didn't have a will of its own it is being played upon by the moon and larger forces.

The next time we think we have all the answers, it might help to take a step back. When we live to close to the water we don't see it for what it really is. The lesson i have learned is that i need to look and the water, the ocean, and the world. Next time you turn on a sink just watch the water drip, in that size the water can't really hurt you but when you get a lot of those drops together..........lets just say it only takes one to start the waterfall. When people gather in purpose there is nothing we can't do when we set our minds to it.

Word puzzles and Spider Games

The words we choose picks the puzzle we play, the better the phrase more complex the game.

Did i mean what i said or was there an underlying thread.

If you try the threads out for size will it cut through the smoke and mirrors or are they lies?

If Lies do lay then where do they stay.....up in our head spinning away, a web do they weave and decieve.

Are we the spider or merely the fly caught in the web of these wicked lies.

Time will tell where this game goes but for now its down the rabbit hole because nobody knows.

The old man sits on the mountain so wise but no one visits so does he waste his time, and has he lost his mind up there all alone thinking he has the light.

Light will lead down that dark dark hole where wonderland is though nobody knows.

The ones that do are old and wise and sit on mountains that touch the sky, there with the sky they lose their minds and can no longer tell us the answer to life.

So live each day as if it was the last for once you find wonderland theres no coming back.

When a god dies

Up in the clouds the king sits with no one around. His eyes roam to a fro walking the earth day and night yet with all his might he does not fathom the joy and happiness of these ants in his sight. Their life is short just days in his sight, but still they dream, love, fight, and die. Searching for a reason he left his throne. He walked among them and saw them as man; they walked upright, used reason and logic as he did. He came to a village a little girl cried I am so hungry, my father has died. The great king fed this family of three, but still they knew not the god-king he be. When they had ate the girl gave him a hug, the mother cried and bid him good-bye with love. This love was a thing he had never felt before, now he understood why they carried out their wars. The passion and pride that burns inside: a reason to believe, to fight, and to die. The deity returned high to his throne, having felt wanted he now felt alone; immortality looms large, it is to much to bear he needed a reason to live for, a purpose to care. The vastness of forever ahead no one to love nothing to live for the god-king dies. From his death there is a lesson to learn from his life, it is not how long you live but what you live for. Until you have something worth dying for you’re not really living

Immortals fallen to mortality

Do you ever feel as though in the current course of your life that you have somehow fallen from immortality as is were. Looking around realizing that the place you are in life is so far from where you ever wanted to be. Always reaching for that goal you have set only to almost reach it and have it taken from you. No matter what you do it never seems to be enough to stem the in coming tide of seemingly malice intentions meant to slow you down. It's like the feeling a spider must have building a beautiful web that is not only something to show for its existance but also a source of food and shelter, only to have a small child come along and without thinking destroy everything that it has built; just because its fun. I wish that small child would stop having fun at the cost of my life. It's a sinking feeling knowing that someone close to you thinks and sees your life as a failure. Sometimes the thoughts rise to why should i try or care anymore. I guess the only thing you can do is keep pushing and climb back to immortality.

Sleepless

I lay awake tonight, like a child on Christmas Eve with the thoughts of the next day, in awe of what could be. The thought comes in and takes control plants an image and it won't let go, when this happens I want to know does it happen to you, connected…… sleepless in our separate places as we share the night. My mind fails to understand what my heart tells me is this why I pace sleepless through the planes of my mind inventing a reality that has not taken place. There is no gift waiting for me tonight so why does my mind rob me of sleep tonight. When you put words on paper you control the thought and own the tone; they serve to do your bidding, to make your puzzle and play in the maze that you make. I am unable to put in writing my thoughts they will not come out or surrender their stronghold. They hold me captive in their maze running around like a hamster in a cage.

I think is strange how meeting someone can do all this to you, the feelings and wonder. I can never see the forest from the trees when it is my own interest, but for some reason if I were given the same set of facts to go on and it was someone else's I would see the situation with perfect vision. Words seem to be the only thing that you can control in life and then they leave you feeling powerless and rather speechless.

This Moment

The concept of living in the moment that we are in, carpe diem and all of that has always interested me. The fact that it is in this moment in which we will define ourselves and it is this moment in which we live. Why is this moment so important? i believe it is because of what we do now that will be what we are remembered for. The stars and the sand provide great lessons of this concept.
I found myself looking up at the stars the other night, think of how they look like little pinholes in a piece of paper allowing light in from another world. I started to think of the stars are thousands of light years away and in all the time that it took for that light to travel here the star could have died and burned out hundreds of years ago but yet we can still look to the sky and see the wonder and awe of what it use to be.
When i was in Japan i use to spend a lot of time on the beach; i love the beach,
the water, and the way that it opens up a whole new world where the rules of the land don’t apply. The thing that i noticed though is that the ocean and the beach are in a constant state of flux. You can walk down the beach and look behind you for the trail you left in the sand and before you get to far the foot prints that you left will be washed away.
The simple fact remains that when we are gone, we are gone but what will we leave behind? Will people be able to see the light of what we were long after we are gone or will we soon be forgotten as the tide of life sweeps across what we have done. Life is a journey of choices that we have to make some of those choices will impact the generations to come while others will soon be forgotten. When the moment in your life that will define you comes, dare to live large and on the edge history and life doesn’t remember those that played it safe, but rather those that laid it all on the line of the sake of that moment.These two things made me think about life and what i want to be a star or the beach.